Not Allowed : The Complete Collection
by ohEvangeline
Summary: 150 Things I Am Not Allowed to Do At Hogwarts. Follow the kids of Hogwarts, from all different generations, as they discover what they shouldn't do. Quirky, cute, and the downright hilarious included.
1. Honestly Professor

A/N: I found the complete collection of 150 Things Not Allowed, so I thought that it would be great fun to write a short one shot for each one. Please review! I'd love to know what you think. If there's one that you'd like to see certain people with, let me know!

~Shiloh

_I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colors indicate that they are 'covered in bees'._

It was one of those disarmingly sunny days, where the sky is clear and everything just seems a little bit brighter all around. None of the students of the most esteemed Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry could force themselves to remain indoors. The grounds were covered in cheerful young people, everyone smiling, for exams were over and they had two whole days in which to relax and enjoy themselves; really, they couldn't help but smile about that. One such person, who was rather enjoying it a lot, was Ted Lupin.

Teddy, as he was called, was stretched out near his favorite tree, soaking up the sun. Hands were behind his head, his ankles crossed, and a contented smile flitted across his lips. His girlfriend, Victoire Weasley, whom he had known for nearly all his life, which was quite a long time, and whom he had pursued nearly as long as he'd known her, was sitting tailor style beside him, chattering with a fellow Ravenclaw. She was currently running her fingers through his signature blue hair.

It was a fact that Teddy had grown up to be a very fine, intelligent boy, smart like his dad with the same warm smile and artless charm. Of course, he also inherited his mother's spunk and sense of humor. After all, the product of one Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin, a once Marauder, would never turn out a nicely behaved and angelic sort.

No, he had his own fair share of detentions recorded and could remember several incidents when he hadn't been caught. Those were remembered generally quite fondly. He was never one to pass up an opportunity for a carefully laid prank or well timed, witty remark. In fact, just such a moment was about to occur.

Abigail Lansdown was the name of the friend Victoire was conversing with and Abby was quite afraid of bees. This was an unfortunate circumstance really, for this was the season for them. In fact, one such specimen, a rather harmless honey bee actually, presently landed on her shoulder.

Victoire leaned over and lightly brushed the offending insect away. "You had a bee on your shoulder." She said in explanation.

Abby shuddered. "Ugh, I hate those things." Victoire frowned as it came back.

"Merlin, he doesn't want to go away."

Just then, Abby had the misfortune to feel small legs upon her hair. It had, unluckily, landed at the part of her hair so it was rather easily detected, tickling her scalp. Abby froze and her eyes grew huge.

"Get it off." She whispered. Teddy thought she was being rather dramatic, from where he lay listening, so he spoke up.

"Just ignore it, it'll go away."

"Get it off!" Abby screeched. She jumped up and began wailing and flapping her arms about. The bee had most likely long since disappeared, disgusted with the ridiculous display, but Teddy was never one to waste a bit of pandemonium.

***

"You did what?" Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress, stared incredulously at nearly graduated Teddy Lupin. She had known his father, had known all that the senior Lupin had gotten up to during his years at Hogwarts, but this was a first. When Professor Neville Longbottom had brought in a small group of students this was not what she had expected. Of the two boys before her, one sported a growing, rather spectacular black eye, and the other seemed ready to give another. A pretty blonde was rolling her eyes in exasperation, a small brunette was giggling, and another honey blonde looked afraid.

"Well you Professor – " Teddy began, but he was cut off by a rather indignant Alistair Smith, who, of the two, was quite unharmed.

"He attacked us! For no bloody reason – "

"Language, Mr. Smith!"

"Sorry Professor. But the thing is, he came after us screaming about swarms and 'them' being everywhere. He scared poor Carrie and could have seriously hurt us!"

Teddy sent him a scathing, sarcastic look that was nicely accented by his black eye. A nice purple now. "It was a spoon Smith, not a cleaver. Sweet Circe Professor, I was just having a laugh."

"But why, Mr. Lupin?" Minerva was sure that he hadn't caused any real harm, if anything, he had been harmed. Smith had a bit of an air for the dramatic. She was still, however, fuzzy on the details.

"Abby is scared of bees," He motioned to the giggling brunette. "and she was going nuts over one, I'm not sure was actually there, and I was just having a go at her. To calm her down. Make her laugh."

"So you went after Mr. Smith and Miss Perkins with a spoon?"

"Well, it was the handiest thing." He explained. "And there was a bit more to it than that." He grumbled under his breath. Minerva wasn't sure she had ever dealt with a situation quite like this one.

"Do explain, Mr. Lupin, your exact reasoning."

"Bees, Professor. I was just joking Abby that there were swarms of bees. So I was chasing them away."

"I'm still not sure why you went after Mr. Smith and Miss Perkins and poked them with a spoon." No matter how many times she said it, she still couldn't quite imagine it. Really, she wasn't sure she understood any of this.

"They're Hufflepuffs."

"Your mother was a Hufflepuff!"

"Yeah, and from what I hear she was a right nutter too."

"Mr. Lupin!"

"Well, they were wearing Hufflepuff colors." He said this as if it explained everything he had been trying to tell them all along and now he felt that they should be properly enlightened.

Blank stares all around.

"Honestly Professor," He said with longsuffering. "They look like they're covered in bees."

The portraits started tittering and it all went downhill from there.

* * *


	2. He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?

2. _No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class._

Charlie Weasley, just three years after the end of the war, became the director of the dragon compound he had gone back to work at. This gave him less field work and more desk work, but really he liked it. It also gave him the opportunity to settle down a bit and think of other things besides work. While the dragon handlers lived in tents and spent almost all of their time with, around, and concerned with dragons, the director had a lovely little house provided. Living in a house all alone gets a lonely man thinking.

Katrina was a lovely muggle girl from America living and going to university in Romania. During one summer she worked at a pub in a little village not far from the compound and lived with a friend. It was at this pub she first saw the brawny, muscular red head. To her delight, and causing to blush, he noticed her as well. It was not long after that Charlie introduced himself and things progressed nicely.

When Katrina first found out he was a wizard it was quite a shock, but she came to accept it. Three years after they met, they married. And not long after that, only a year or so, Jason came along. A bouncing baby with his father's blue eyes and freckles, and his mothers dark hair.

Jason is fourteen and in his fourth year where our story begins. He had grown up loving his father's dragons and was also heavily influenced by muggle culture as well. Katrina had introduced Charlie to the television not long after they were married. Even he had found merit in some of the offerings, such as Animal Planet. Jason's favorite show as a child was, predictably, Steve Irwin.

So it was, one sunny, cool autumn day, Hagrid had taken his Care of Magical Creatures class into the nearby forest clearing to teach them about nifflers. He had built a mound of dirt full of shiny things for them to nose around in. Jason was standing with his cousin and best mate Louis, just behind Serena Lucas, a lovely muggleborn girl he had a rather large crush on. She, however, didn't even care to give him the time of day.

"A'right then, gather round, gather round. There we are. Right then class, today we're talkin' about nifflers. Interestin' little buggers these are. But they like shiny things so iffin' you've got rings or bracelets or necklaces or sumthin', should stow those away." Jason pulled a silver ring, a birthday gift from his parents, off of his hand and dropped it in his pocket. In front of him, Serena was pulling hoops out of her ears and Jason thought he rather liked how her hair swayed as she did.

He continued to pay attention through the rest of the rather fun lesson. Hagrid split them into teams of two and gave each team a niffler on a leash. Then they raced to see who could find the most objects in the mound of dirt. When they were done, Jason and Louis had eleven objects. Each team called out their number and the two boys took third place.

"A'right class, tomorrow we'll cover magic'l birds. I'm gunna have a Feathered Arclet here from Australia ter show ya."

"Crikey! That's amazing mate!" Jason blurted out. He grinned when the muggleborn Serena snorted. Hagrid ignored him.

"Next week we're talkin' aboot dragons. Startin' wit the Welsh Green."

"What a beaut!" Jason couldn't help himself, he wanted to see Serena acknowledge his existence again.

"We'll have a special speaker." Hagrid said wryly, with a grin. "'ello Charlie. How're ya?"

Jason leaned over to Louis, who was now facing the other direction. "I don't suppose my dad is behind me?" Louis just nodded.

"Impressive imitation Jason, but this class is hardly the proper pace. And I do believe he was referring to a crocodile."

Jason shrugged. "They're both green?" Serena laughed and Jason was officially unrepentant.


	3. Margeywanna!

A/N: First of all, I would like to give credit to Atalanta_Pendragonne, who wrote the original list. And thanks to Cass for letting me know that, I didn't know who wrote the list, so I'm thankful that she did. Secondly, I want you to know that in no way do I condone or support the use of illegal drugs. The use here is for purely entertainment purposes and I don't recommend that anyone try it. It's an illegal, harmful, useless habit.

* * *

3._ Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not extra credit for Herbology._

"Seamus! Check this out!" Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan, best friends since their first year together at Hogwarts, were spending the last two weeks of summer together at Dean's house. They were set to head back for their fifth year in another four days. Seamus rolled over and frowned up at his friend. He had been sleeping quite nicely and wasn't particularly fond of early mornings.

"Wazat?" He asked blearily. Dean was holding a small bag filled with something green and grinning madly.

"My cousin Greg gave it to me. Get up, you've got to try this."

"You look weird."

"Whatever, come on."

"What is it?"

"Marijuana."

"Mary who?"

"No, marijuana. Muggle kids smoke it all the time."

"Never heard of it."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Just get up. Come on. My mum won't be happy if she catches us." Seamus rolled his eyes and threw the blankets aside. Pulling on trousers and a tee-shirt, he sleepily padded out after Dean. He was still rubbing the sleep out of his eye when they left the house and went out to the old shed in Dean's backyard.

Seamus collapsed on the ground and let his head fall back. After all, he was only fifteen, and any sort of motivation was not to be found on summer holidays in the early morning. It was only nine in the morning! He watched through half open eyes as Dean rolled the green substance into a white piece of paper, half curious as to what exactly they were supposed to do with it.

"What did you say this stuff was?"

"Marijuana. They call it weed."

"It's a weed?"

"I don't know, that's just what they call it."

"What are you doing with it?"

Dean rolled his eyes and sat next to Seamus on the ground. "Did you hear a thing I told you earlier?"

"No."

"Muggle kids smoke it. My cousin Greg grows it and sells it to them."

"So why are we doing it?"

"Just try it. You'll understand." Dean lit up the cigarette looking thing and took a long drag on it. Then he grinned and passed it to Seamus.

Looking curious and cautious, Seamus copied what his friend had done. "I don't get – Whoa!" He shook his head to clear it and stared at the small, harmless looking thing.

"See?" Dean giggled. Apparently, he'd been indulging long before Seamus awoke.

"This is brilliant!" Seamus remarked some time later. The small shed was hazy with blue smoke and the two boys were laughing for some reason neither could quite recall. Not that it mattered to them. "Where did he get this stuff?"

"He grew it!" They cracked up laughing again. Really, the fact was quite hilarious.

"Wicked! I wonder if we could?"

"Could we what?"

"Grow it."

Dean looked thoughtful and then grinned. "That would be awesome! We could use it for Herbology. Pro- pro-profs Sprout would like to see muggle plants, right?"

"Yeah! Extra credit. Brilliant."

_One month later_

"Oi, Neville!" Seamus called to him from across the common room. The other boy looked up at the sound of his friend calling him.

"What?"

"Can you come here, I've got a question about Herbology."

Neville shrugged. "Sure." The two boys trudged upstairs where Dean had pulled out a box full of dirt and small plants that looked a bit wilted.

"Merlin!" Neville cried. "What did you do to those poor plants?"

"We were hoping you could tell us that." Dean told him. "We've been trying to grow it but it doesn't seem to be doing well."

"Where have you been keeping it?"

"On the floor in Dean's wardrobe."

"You've killed it!" Neville dropped to his knees beside Seamus and poked at the plant. "They need sunlight and fresh air."

"Oh."

"Yeah. What is this anyway?" He curiously examined the strange leaves."

Dean and Seamus grinned at each other. "It's marijuana." Said Dean. "A muggle plant I got from my cousin. It's really popular in the muggle world, they smoke it."

"Really?" Neville was looking at the plant, intrigued. "What's it taste like?"

"Sweet." Said Seamus. "It's sweet. Almost too sweet if you get too much."

"Why are you growing it?"

"Extra credit for Herbology." Explained Dean.

"We should try it." Suggested Seamus. "Just to make sure it's still good."

"Right, good plan." Dean pulled out his pocket knife and cut off a stalk. "We have to dry it first, though."

Seamus pulled out his wand. "I know that charm!"

"No!" The other two boys shouted.

"Uh, no." Said Dean sheepishly. "I can, that's all right." He pulled out his own wand and spoke the charm to dry out the leaves. Grinning, he ground it up and put it in a slip of parchment that Seamus gave him. "Well, here goes."

Lighting the tip of it, he took a deep drag and grinned. Seamus went next and he too grinned, passing the joint toward Neville. "I don't know." Neville said. "I've never smoked before."

"Just try it Neville. It's brilliant!" Neville gave it another wary glance, then took it gingerly from Seamus' fingers. Shrugging, he put it between his lips and breathed in, as he had seen his two friends did.

"Whoa!" He coughed a bit and looked at the thing with wide eyes. "Wow."

"Exactly." Dean took it back and the boys proceeded to pass it around, Neville coughing each time, but getting better at it. They were laughing so loud they didn't hear people coming into the room.

"Good God, what is that?" A girl's voice grabbed their attention. Dean fell backwards, trying to see around the bed they were sitting behind.

"Oh, hello Hermione!"

"Dean Thomas _what_ are you doing?"

He waved with his hand toward the other two boys, who had the joint. "We're smoking."

"I don't think that's allowed."

Neville's head popped up over the bed and he gave a goofy grin. Harry and Ron were standing behind Hermione, their noses wrinkled. "Sure it is. It's for Herbology."

"That's rank, mate." Declared Ron. "What is it?"

"Mar- mary- mar-"

"Mary who?" Harry said, laughing a little as Dean tried to sit back up. The three friends moved further into the room and took in the sight. Three boys sitting around a box of wilting leaves, passing around a tube of burning parchment that they were smoking, apparently. Ron and Harry were cracking up at the sight. Seamus grinned up with a wooly expression.

"Hiya! This is- is gre-ate!"

Hermione shrieked as she bent closer to see through the thick blue smoke. "Is that marijuana!"

"Right in one love!" Declared Dean. "Margey-wanna."

"It's- it's illegal!" Neville gave her a puzzled expression.

"It is?"

"What were you thinking?"

"Extry currdit." Seamus slurred.

"You can _not_ use illegal drugs for extra credit!"

The three boys just laughed and proceeded to try and say 'marijuana', to no avail. Hermione vanished the box, took away points, shrieked again and then stormed off. But they boys were laughing too hard to notice. Harry and Ron were dragged out, laughing still at their roommates rather odd, yet amusing, behavior.


	4. Sweet Mother of Merlin

A/N: Number Four! There is an extra warning on this chapter, as you can probably guess why. ;) That's right, sexual references and innuendo. I'm trying to keep the rating down, so it shouldn't be too bad, but just be warned. If things like that bother you, don't read this chapter.

* * *

_4. "I have heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge._

I really felt bad for Ollie, even though I was laughing just as hard as anyone else. I couldn't help it though, it was very funny after all, and I'm a fun loving person. Hello, my name is Carrie Jordt, I'm a seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I'm in Gryffindor House, and my two best friends are Michele and Ollie, or Oliver, as it were. We've been best mates since second year when Michele corrected Ollie's grip on his broom. Yes, the same Ollie we're laughing at now, who just happens to be the star Keeper of the quidditch team. Who now has a proper grip on his broom handle.

Anyway, Michele and I are currently piled into an armchair. I'm sitting crosswise across Shel's legs, clutching a pillow to my stomach as I laugh. Ollie is sitting in the chair next to ours and I'm afraid I'm going to accidentally kick him at any moment. He looks longsuffering, a bit irritated, and a bit red in the face. Really, the man is adorable. Only don't tell him I said so, it's my secret.

Two of his quidditch mates, the Weasley twins, Fred and George, and their friend, Lee Jordan are currently causing the red face. Shel and I are the reason for the longsuffering expression. The three boys have garnered help to, which is probably where the irritation comes from. Charlie Parker in our year, Cormac McLaggen in fourth, Daniel Forrest in sixth and Lucas Hayes, also in sixth have all jumped in. Besides that, half the common room and anyone passing through are putting in their two knuts as well. Why, you may ask? Well, as wonderful as my sport mad Ollie is, well he's not really mine, even though I wish… Never mind. Anyway, as wonderful as he is, as popular and admired, he has a rather unfortunate name. Not his first name, obviously, but his last name. Wood.

Yes, seems quite innocent and ordinary doesn't it? Well, actually it is. Unfortunately, for Ollie, and to the intense amusement of the general student populace, most of said populace is not innocent. No, as whole, we teenagers possess rather crude and perverted minds. It's the curse of our age group, to have dirty states of mind. Gutters and all that you know. Over the last few years, I'm sure Ollie, and I, have heard every joke that could possibly be made. This fact does not stop anyone from continuing to exploit the ever-present opportunity.

However, I must admit, Fred, George, and Lee are more creative than the general populace. Honestly, they can twist anything to make it funnier than it was before. We've all been here for the better part of an hour and they're still going. Of course, the conversation didn't start out this way, but it didn't take long for it to descend to this. It's only falling farther as we go, too. They've covered everything from broomsticks to trees and logs to bad pickup lines. And… yes. Beavers have entered the area. Oh Merlin! I'm not repeating that – ever.

"Well, as enjoyable as this has been, I'm going to bed." Ollie stood before George, or was it Fred? Never mind, doesn't matter. Anyway, before the twin could fire off his next comment. Something about stuffing… hunting.

"Ah, don't be a spoil sport Wood!" Lee said, laughing loudly as the twin said it anyway.

Ollie shook his head in exasperation, waving them off. "Good night, Shel, Carrie."

"Night Ol!" Shel said, still giggling.

"Good night Ollie." I smiled up at him, hoping he wasn't upset with us. Sometimes he really does get tired of it. He just nods his head and heads for the stairs. Maybe I should go and talk to him.

"Hey Carrie."

"Oh, hi Steven." The seventh year approached us where we sat, but I'm more concerned about Oliver than paying attention to him. He can be a bit stuffed.

"What are you doing next weekend?" Marley's question made me turn away from Oliver's retreating form to look up at him.

"Huh?" I'm one of great articulation, you see.

"Next weekend. What are you doing?" Next weekend? Good question. Oh wait, Hogsmeade.

"Oh, I don't know. Um, it's Hogsmeade so I'll probably go to the village with Oliver." Usually it would be the three of us, but Michele had a date with Roger Davies, some sixth year bloke from Ravenclaw. It would be nice though, having Oliver all to myself. Someday I'll be brave enough to-

"You want to go with me?" I only half heard him, still caught up in my internal monologue and having decided I needed to go and talk to Oliver. He'd seemed off for a couple days and I was sure something was wrong that he just wasn't owning up to. Typical male.

"I'll talk to you later Steven." I can figure out what he was saying later and apologize for being rude. I stood and made to leave, but Michele grabbed my arm and pulled me down so that she could whisper in my ear, making it so none of the boys could hear.

"Carrie! The best catch of our year just asked you out. What are you doing!?"

"Checking on – oh!" My brain finally processed that Steven Marley had just asked me out. He was rather good looking and quite popular; he was a good guy. It's not that I didn't like him it was just that I really, really liked someone else. "Um, later. Really I need to talk to Oliver." She let go, looking shocked and gaping like a guppy. Then, oddly, she smiled conspiratorially. Knowing her, she probably thought I was playing hard to get with Marley. Honestly, that girl is strange. I felt bad for Steven, but I really do need to talk to –

"Oliver! Merlin, you scared me." He was standing just out of sight on the spiral staircase. Before he could say anything in reply though, I heard one of the Weasleys talking.

"No use mate, she's fancied Wood for a year."

"Yup," said the other. "Knows a fine piece of 'wood' when she sees one."

"She fancies Wood? Oh."

'Yes, she does." Shel said, obviously loving this. What!? I had never told anyone, not even Michele. "If either of them ever come to their senses they're perfect. Honestly, I think he's fancied her nearly as long." I didn't hear anything else they said, I was too busy staring at Oliver in absolute terror and mortification.

"Smart girl, our Shel." He said softly.

"You've been here all along?" I managed to squeak out.

He chuckled quietly, nodding. "I heard Marley talking to you and I wanted to hear what you would say."

"Why?"

"I was jealous." He admitted. Maybe Michele was right. "I told you, Shel's a clever one."

Honestly, I have neither any self control nor common sense. Which was the source of the problem just then. As soon as he grinned at me, I threw myself at him, only one thought in mind. Oh, it wasn't the spontaneous kiss that was the problem, he was quite amenable to that. No, it was the subsequent tumble down the stairs. Short, but still quite painful. Ouch.

"Well, well." I looked up to see a grinning Michele – and a room full of laughing people behind her. We must have been quite the sight, my arms still wrapped around Ollie, his hands on either side of my head as I lay beneath him. Merlin, I hope there are no first years in the room, this looks… well, you can just imagine I'm sure. Oliver climbed off of me and helped me up off the floor. My face flaming brighter than his, we turned with him to face everyone.

"We were just – uh –" Sod it, I had nothing.

"Oh, we know." Lee said suggestively. Could my face turn any more pink than it already was? Apparently yes. I fought the urge to run away. Lee opened his mouth to say something more but I cut him off, holding up one hand. Anything to get out of here.

"Honestly, I have heard every possible joke about Oliver's last name." I grabbed Ollie's hand and proceeded to lead him toward the stairs again. I never was one to give up, not even after total, and public humiliation.

"Look there George, little Carrie all grown up and doing the chores."

Uh-oh, I'm a bit afraid of where this is going. Oliver beat me to the punch. "Tha's not a challenge!" He tossed back their way.

They ignored us of course. "Whatever do you mean Fred?"

"She's stacked the wood and now she's off to properly polish the wand."

Oh sweet mother of Merlin.


	5. QuickandEasy Guide

_5. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate._

"He had a Kwikspell package?" When Ron heard what Harry was saying, he collapsed back onto his bed in gales of laughter.

"Yeah, right there on his desk."

"Classic. That is just classic. I believe it though, complete squib that one."

"He is?"

"Course he is, that's how he got the job. My dad told me, and told me not to tell Mum he did, that Filch got the job because his parents were really good friends of Dumbledore, and when Filch turned out a squib, they were really embarrassed. When they died, he came here so he'd always have a job."

"Wow."

"Oh man, I can't believe he ordered Kwikspell! That stuff is rubbish. He must be desperate!"

"He should just learn muggle magic."

"Muggle magic?" Ron looked at Harry in puzzlement.

"Yeah, you know, magicians. It's all illusions and sleight of hand. It's actually really cool, we couldn't do some of what they do." Ron scoffed but Harry nodded. "Yeah, like cutting people in half and stuff, then putting them back together again."

"They cut people in _half_?" Ron seemed absolutely appalled.

"Well not really, they just make it look like they have. It's cool."

"Why would that be cool? Sounds nutters to me."

"Lots of people love it. I got to see it once actually. I went with my class when I was seven. The Dursleys had to let me go 'cause it would look bad if they didn't. I think a couple of my teachers knew they weren't any good to me. But it was fun. Some guy from Canada named Doug Henning was there, he's really famous in the muggle world. Or he was anyway."

Ron was laughing again. "I bet he'd be Filch's hero or something. Have posters all over of him and the like. Oh Merlin, that's funny."

"If Filch knew about him, he probably would be. Maybe we tell him about Henning, he could learn a thing or two." Harry's grin was huge as he thought about it.

"Could you just see his face? If he walked into his office and it was covered in posters of some muggle magician and a book about muggle magic?"

"That would be hilarious!"

"What would?" Dean, Seamus and Neville walked in just then, having just come up from the common room where they'd been playing exploding snap with a large group of Gryffindor boys. They eyed the two laughing boys with wary smiles.

Ron hastened to explain. "Filch had a Kwikspell package in his office, and Harry was telling me about some muggle magician. If we put posters of this guy in his office, Filch might have a new hero." Seamus and Neville had started laughing when they heard about the Kwikspell, but Dean, like Harry, was in the dark at first.

"What's a Kwikspell?"

"It's a handy how-to course for people to learn magic. Cause he's a squib." Dean started laughing then.

"What magician are you talking about Harry."

"Doug Henning. I saw him a few years ago with my primary class." Dean got it right away, but the other boys had to have the whole thing explained to them, as Harry had explained to Ron. When he was done, all of them were laughing until there were tears in their eyes.

"You're right, that would be funny." Said Seamus. "Do you think we could get away with it?"

"Sure." Ron said with a shrug.

"Where would we get posters though?" Reasoned Dean.

"We really only need one." Said Harry. "Then we could just replicate it."

"We're going to get in so much trouble if we get caught." Neville said, but even he was smiling.

It was a memorable sort of day, when it came down to it. Some Hufflepuff boys had pulled a prank that had Filch cleaning up the fourth floor east wing that morning. He had pulled out his mop and bucket with an evil sort of look on his greasy face. The five Gryffindor boys were not ones to waste an opportunity. For the rest of the day, Filch took to following around the unfortunate fifth years with his cat, Mrs. Norris, and popping up wherever they went. His office, consequentially, was left empty and unguarded.

"Did you get it?" Dean had written off to his uncle, asking for a poster of the magician, saying it was a bit of a laugh at his school. Not saying exactly _why_ it would be so funny. The uncle, not suspecting a thing, sent the poster right to him.

"Yeah, it's right here. Let's go."

Neville and Seamus kept watch at either end of the corridor, watching for any passing teacher or snitch. The other three boys went to work, replicating the poster until they had at least twenty. While Dean did this, the other two ran about, sticking them to the walls, Filch's desk, his chair, the door, and right over the window. As a perk they hadn't thought of, the poster had come wrapped in plastic with a book that explained who Doug Henning was and a Quick-and-Easy Guide to Magic Tricks: Amaze Your Friends! That they left in the center of his desk, where he couldn't miss it.

Giggling like no boys their age had the right to, they ran out of the office, collecting Neville and Seamus along the way. Hiding sniggers behind their hands, they piled through the portrait hole into the common room. Hermione shot them a suspicious look from where she sat doing her homework. They did their best to straighten their faces, and settled for hiding in their dormitory. She would most likely _not_ find it funny.

Being a memorable sort of day, things just worked together perfectly. Just before dinner, Filch had the unfortunate idea of returning to his office. There, he was greeted by a rather nasty surprise. Furious, he called the headmaster, who was not nearly as amused as the boys. When they sat down to dinner, they found that Dumbledore had an announcement to make.

"If I may have your attention please! It recently came to my attention that someone thought it amusing to play a prank on Mr. Filch. You will be found out. It is not appropriate to hang Doug Henning posters in his office."

He didn't bother to say anything else, and the hall started laughing. Those who knew explaining to those who didn't, until they were all laughing, even the Slytherin table. Hermione shot the five boys another suspicious look.

"Pass the bread won't you?" Ron asked.


End file.
